Sarah Ramos’ Crush Showed Up To Her Bat Mitzvah… But He Was A 28-Year-Old
Growing up, Sarah Ramos led a Hannah Montana-like existence. She was one-part regular tween girl — attending seventh grade, Hebrew school, and her peers bar mitzvahs — another part network TV star, playing Patty Pryor on American Dreams. “I was a child actor, but my parents couldn’t commit. They were like, ‘She’s still normal!,’” Ramos tells me. “So I would go to actual middle school on the days that I wasn’t working and I would go to Hebrew school and Sundays and Wednesdays. It was a bizarre double life.”
But it wasn’t until her bat mitzvah that her two worlds collided, as she invited the show’s cast and crew to the party — including her crush, the then 28-year-old Sam Page. “You might know him now as being Sutton’s older paramour on The Bold Type but he was on American Dreams and I was fully obsessed,” she says. “He came and signed a headshot of himself for me, which I framed that said: ‘Sarah you are so… so... I don’t even know the words for it.’”
Adolescence is a time Ramos, now a 29-year-old filmmaker, often revisits in her work. Be it her web series City Girl — in which she stars in an adaptation of the rom-com she wrote at age 12 — or her zine, Autograph Hound, which is made up of photos Ramos took with celebrities at various premieres in her early teen years. (Including shots with everyone from Amanda Bynes to Colin Farrell.) “I like to reclaim these moments that I maybe once felt embarrassed by,” she explains of her art. But despite the fact that celebrating the cringe-worthy moments of her youth is Ramos’ modus operandi, she was still particularly nervous to revisit her bat mitzvah. “There’s a level of unhinged confidence in my photos with celebrities where I was so deeply sure that what I was doing made me look cool. But I always felt nervous about singing in Hebrew in front of everyone I knew.”
Below, Ramos reflects on her beach theme bat mitzvah party — puka shell bracelet and taco stand included.
On her beach theme:
On the set of American Dreams, sometimes they would bring in caterers and [one of them] was a taco stand. It was fabulous. And I really wanted to have that at my bat mitzvah, so I think that was kind of a big impetus for doing a beach theme so I could have that style of taco. Otherwise, I know I had some plastic kind of material leis. Not plastic flowers, but kind of weird frizzy tubes of plastic that were colorful that were leis.
What I remember most about the party is that my parents let me have all of my friends from school spend the night after. So we had like 14 girls sleep over, which I think was the largest sleepover I ever had. That I remember being fun, but I don’t remember much of that except that we were all on the floor.
On the social hierarchy of Hebrew school:
As you can see with my obsession with famous people at that age, I was [also interested in the] social hierarchy of being popular. So I got it down pat at my regular school where I was like here’s who’s cool, here’s who’s popular, here’s who’s not. But when I would go to Torah Center, the dynamic would be completely flipped on its head. People at my regular school who were really uncool were really popular at temple and I felt deeply uncomfortable. That’s the problem with caring about the social hierarchy, you will never feel cool. If you value being cool, you will always feel uncool. So I think I always felt that way.
On wearing a funeral chic look:
It was a very muted black dress. If you look at my other garments which I would wear to Hollywood events, I was always in a color. But for my bat mitzvah I wore a modest black dress that looks absolutely appropriate to wear to a funeral — despite it being a beach theme. (Though I did have a puka shell bracelet on.)
On the “five second frencher”:
I remember that at some temple event, a young boy who told me he liked me wanted to kiss me. I had never kissed anyone before, but I had learned the language. So I said, “You know maybe I would do a five second frencher with him.” I made up the phrase “five second frencher” and was immediately like, “Oh god, that will reveal I never kissed anyone before.” I think I ultimately sat on his lap.
Another time, at my brother’s bar mitzvah before I made a joke with one of his friends who I potentially thought was cute about how I was going to spill soda on him. Then I actually spilled soda all over him, accidentally. I just remember it going from a hilarious, flirtatious gag to a devastating moment of embarrassment and regret.
On the perils of living a double life:
I think it was really a double-edged sword. It would go from being like, “Oh my god, my friend’s mom is so proud of me!” to [being made fun of]. There’s this one story from around that time where I was like outside of school and this kid I didn’t know was like, “I heard you’re on TV. Can I have an autograph?” And I just didn’t love his vibe. I didn’t trust it, it felt off to me. But I finally signed his napkin and then he threw it away in the trash can in front of me. It was really mean!
But I feel like it was that kind of contradiction between people being like “wow that’s so cool” to people being like “you think you’re better than us, huh?” I remember at one point with drama in middle school and people being like, “You can’t trust her. She’s an actress.” Meanwhile I’m like... 13-years-old.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
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