'Shiva Baby' Director Emma Seligman Regrets Screening 'Chinatown' At Her Bat Mitzvah

Emma Seligman’s bat mitzvah practically made it preordained that she’d become an auteur. Her party was a celebration of filmmakers, with a mix of her favorite classic films being projected on the wall throughout the evening. “It was Chinatown, West Side Story, Roman Holiday, and maybe The Godfather playing on a loop. Looking back I really don't love how a Roman Polanski movie was part of it,” Seligman tells me. “I'd seen Chinatown many times, but watching Faye Dunaway and Jack Nicholson in bed together naked I was like, ‘Maybe I should have thought about this...’” And while Seligman claims that the execution of her theme wasn’t too elaborate, she also shared her love of cinema with her guests in their gift bags. “They were an old plastic popcorn container from when you would go to the movies in the olden days. [Inside of them] each person got a different postcard for an old movie,” she explains.

Now 25, Seligman’s set to release her feature length film debut: Shiva Baby. (Out this Friday on VOD.) The film — which is an expansion of the short she wrote for her college thesis project — has been called “Uncut Gems for Jewish sluts.” As the title suggests, the film takes place during a Shiva in which its protagonist, Danielle, runs into her ex-girlfriend, her sugar daddy, his “shiksa princess” wife... and their baby. Seligman’s been working on the film since 2017, but she’d wanted to write about the reformed Jewish experience for much longer.

“I think that I always knew I wanted to write stuff that took place in Ashkenazi Jewish family settings,” she says. “Then I watched Transparent and I felt like for the first time I was watching Jews that I saw myself in on screen. They were real people who had sex lives, neuroses, and complicated family dynamics — and I loved it.” Which is the exact kind of thorny characters Seligman is now bringing to the screen: queer, slutty, millennial Jewish women, who you can’t help but see yourself in.

Below, Seligman reflects on her bat mitzvah — including an unfortunate experience with her sign in board.

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On having her bat mitzvah ceremony in Israel:

I wasn’t initially going to have a bat mitzvah party because I had my ceremony on Masada [mountain] in Israel during a two week bat mitzvah trip [throughout Israel]. But then we decided to have smallish, untraditional party at The Drake, which is a very hip hotel in downtown Toronto. (My mom was definitely trying to be hip and cool.)

Basically the setup of the party was at first everyone was upstairs and we had hors d'oeuvres and did speeches and stuff like that. Then the kids went downstairs and the adults stayed upstairs in a sectioned off part of the hotel.

On being a healthy, plump 13-year-old:

I truly have never hated my body more. I had an early growth spurt, so I was tall and filling in. I was a healthy, plump 13-year-old. Then usually whenever my mom, sister, and I would get our hair done for events at the time I would always just flatiron mine. But [for my party] I was like, “No. I want an up-do.” I don’t think I would have looked good no matter what, but I had this horrible half up-do. Looking back, I’m trying to love my inner child a little bit more and be like, “I looked cute.” But at the time I was regretting everything.

On going to an eccentric art school:

I went to a little art school where there were literally 30 kids per grade, it was so tiny. We were just a weird crowd of kids but it was a fun group of people. I got lucky because I didn't go to school feeling awkward about kids giving blow jobs around the corner, or things like that. That only happened when I got to high school and I was like, "Whoa, I was just sheltered for two years because I was hanging out with kids who were playing guitar in the hallway and just doing art projects for French class.”

On getting bullied via her sign in board:

There were about 29 girls and 7 boys or something like that at my art school. So I remember being like, “I need to invite some more boys [to my bat mitzvah].” I chose two boys from elementary school that I wasn't even really friends. I definitely had the biggest crush on one of them in elementary school. I think he was just like, "Why am I here?"

So you know how there's usually [a sign in board] at the party that everyone writes on and stuff? This one girl wrote, "I love you” from [the boy I had a crush on]. She wrote it a few times with hearts everywhere. And I knew it was her writing it. I'm not here to name names, but it did traumatize me. 

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.